It is a very sad thing when you see people that need help. I try very hard to keep myself balanced enough to help where I can, and yet not throw myself completely in. I do know that I am a bit of a soft heart, eager to help and ease the pain of others where I can. I don’t do it for accolades, and I rarely even mention it. But if you slight me? Or my friends and family? I will definitely mention you.

Let’s go back to one of my last posts. My bonus kid, El, brought his girlfriend, Noelle, with him to live with us. At first, we just thought she was a person in need of some structure, and had had no real upbringing or etiquette, along with needing some psychiatric care for meds and diagnostics. We figured possibly bipolar? Nothing some medication and therapy wouldn’t help.

Then I noticed red flags I didn’t like. Major manipulation toward El. She would “weep” when El didn’t pay enough attention to her. I mean loud gnashing of teeth type sobbing. The obviously fake “I can make myself cry on command” type crying. I know it was fake because when Shane gave in and gave attention to it, it continued. When no one glanced in her direction, she would stop. El would do just about everything he could to get her to stop. Especially when he didn’t know *why* Noelle was crying.

And it could have been *ANYTHING* that would set her off. Once it was because El was speaking to people in line behind him during a long line. Or because El told her to stop laying physically on top of him while they were watching TV in the family room.

Then I started hearing the stories. Before she got here, she had killed a kitten by throwing it into concrete because she was angry. Angry. She took a life because she had a bad day. Another time, she bit another kitten’s ear. We currently have a cat that she hit with her rings on. It was starved, home to worms, when she came. The only thing she wanted it for was to dress it up.

She committed a form of virtual statutory rape online with avatars with a 14-year-old. In Michigan, this is considered illegal, even when a computer is used. She knew the other person was a minor.

And El was unaware that convincing someone to have sex by coercion, especially when you are just too tired to say no because you are literally too sick from iron deficiency and blood loss to continue to fight off the constant “don’t you love me” and “but you promised” arguments, is actually a form of rape too. Basically going “if I give in, she’ll finally shut up,” is not healthy.

Noelle is a taker. And absolutely nothing one does seems to be enough for her. I at first pitied her and thought she needed guidance. But no, she might be lacking in etiquette, but she is not lacking in manipulation. And in such an odd way, too. She obviously wanted El- which was odd in itself, as El is an FTM pre-surgical Trans young adult. Likes to dress masculine, feels masculine, thinks masculine. But Noelle is a lesbian. Always treating El as a female. I don’t think Noelle ever thought of El as a male. Only as a way of masking her *bisexualism* as something she could tolerate herself, because she saw El as a girl, but saw that El *would be* a man eventually, and her confusion could be assuaged either way.

In addition to Noelle not seeing El as a male, Noelle had a control issue unlike anything I had ever seen in my life. The things I had heard El say he “wasn’t allowed to do” made me so angry. In a relationship there shouldn’t be things you “aren’t ALLOWED to do.” There may be things you agree not to do in their presence because it annoys them, or not to do for some other reason, but not because one partner doesn’t ALLOW it. That screams red flag. That screams “eventual domestic violence” to me. Just a few of the things Noelle wouldn’t allow El to do?

And so many more. The only things we asked of the kids was that they had to finish their GEDs, get their licenses, get jobs, and help around the house. Not much.

From what I hear, Noelle is now telling folks on the internet I drugged her, starved her, treated her like a servant, and stole drugs from her… Which is flat out HILARIOUS. She specifically says I drugged her with Xanax. I have never owned Xanax in my life, as it interacts with my other meds. So, yeah, she is committing libelous acts online. Chalk another illegal act online for one Kaylen Shay Lovejoy, AKA “Noelle Chaos.”

I took her to stores, goodwill, got her started on her medicaid and her SNAP card, we fed her (and damn did she eat a lot for someone who claimed she was starved), took her cat for vet appointments to get up to date on vaccines, boosters, and spayed (we are still working on getting that cat to keep her weight on). She repaid me by stealing, defaming me, and breaking our things.

And repaid El for bringing her here by hurting him. Emotionally, physically, and every other way she could. That is unforgivable in my eyes. And I will see to it that I don’t forget what she put our family through. But I won’t stop helping. I can’t. It isn’t in me. I might just be a bit more careful next time.